WRITTEN by
“People always say life is too short for
regrets.
But the truth is, it’s too long.”
―Sarah Addison Allen
But the truth is, it’s too long.”
―Sarah Addison Allen
One of the most difficult things to deal with in life
is regret. Sometimes something will happen, and you will respond in the
wrong way, and for a while thereafter you will wish you had done it
differently. But eventually, you accept the experience as a lesson
learned and you move on with your life.
This is hardly the worst kind of
regret. What could be worse?
The chances you didn’t
take. The relationships you were afraid to nurture. The decisions
you waited too long to make. The things you didn’t even try when you had
the chance. Those important words you left unspoken and deeds you left
undone.
The good news is, it’s not too
late. You are here breathing, which means you still have a chance to do
what you might have done, and be what you might have been. Right now you
have an opportunity to write yourself a future free of regret.
So take this opportunity and…
1. Take the first step.
The greatest miracle of your
success in life will not be that you finished, it will be that you had the
courage to begin.
The feeling you get from taking
the first step is far better than the feeling you get from sitting around
thinking about it. Get up and get moving. Take the first step today
– just one small step forward on that goal you’ve been meaning to work on.
Even if you don’t feel 100%
prepared right now, your worst try will always be 100% more effective than the
person who never did. It is so easy to get caught up in planning and perfecting that before you know it,
you have made taking the first step a bigger deal than it is. Sometimes
you just have to go ahead and take things as they come, one step at a time.
So give up the excuses and begin
now. Tomorrow youwill be happy you started today.
2. Get comfortable with
feeling of uncomfortable.
…and then take another step.
You were not meant to sit at the
edge of your comfort zone. Not trying for fear of falling. Not
loving for fear of losing love. Not speaking your truth for fear of what
others will think. Not looking at yourself in the mirror for fear of what
you might see.
Try, and then try again with all
your might. Your courage will unfold as your resolve takes hold.
And with each effort you make you will earn a little more confidence which you
can use to acquire what no one else can give you: Your self-respect, and the
life you were meant to live. (Read Daring Greatly.)
3. Work on being the type of
person you want to be around.
Focus enough energy inward.
Before befriending others, you have to be your own friend. Before making
others happy, you have to make yourself happy. It’s not called
selfishness; it’s called personal development.
Even when you’re with others,
you’re still with yourself. When you wake up in the morning, you’re with
yourself. Laying in bed at night you’re with yourself. Walking down
the street at noon you’re with yourself. What kind of person do you want
to walk down the street with? What kind of person do you want to wake up
in the morning with? What kind of person do you want to see at the end of
the day before you fall asleep? It’s your responsibility to be the person
you want to be with.
It’s important to nurture your
relationships, and it’s important to start with YOU.
4. Make your own happiness a
priority.
For the average person happiness
is a choice, yet so many of us are unhappy all the time. There are many
reasons, but it all boils down to one simple principle: We often choose
something else over happiness. Because it often takes less effort to be
unhappy. For example, instead of seeking happiness we lazily follow the
path of least resistance, we refuse to accept change, we aimlessly try to
control the uncontrollable, and so on and so forth. Averting these poor
choices and the negative attitudes that accompany them is the first step.
The second step is injecting
meaning into your day-to-day life. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said,
“Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of
achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.” To find true happiness in
life you have to follow your heart and intuition. You have to be who you
are, and design a lifestyle and career that fulfills you – no matter what that
entails or what people say about it. And it is never too late to do so.
Sure you have
responsibilities. And no, you won’t be able to do what you want to do
every waking minute of your life. But you almost always have a choice to
do more of what you really want to do – to work on something that matters to
you – something that moves you and gives your life meaning.
Bottom line: Life isn’t
about pleasing everyone. Begin today by taking full responsibility for
your own happiness. (Read 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People DoDifferently.)
5. Practice.
If I were to write a book
entitled, “How to Be Amazing at Anything”, it would only contain a single page
with one word on it: “Practice!” Because that’s all it takes to be
amazing.
Whether it means learning to
write by practicing writing or learning to live by practicing living, the
principles are identical. In each instance, it is the relentless routine
of a precise set of actions, physical and intellectual, focused on a desired
result. Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all
obstacles, some act of vision, faith, or desire.
Practice is a means of inventing
an amazing outcome in all walks of life.
6. Eliminate the negative to
make room for more positive.
It’s not what you look at in life
that matters; it’s what you choose to see. The biggest wall you must
climb is the one you have built in your mind. If you don’t control your
attitude, then it will control you.
Negative feelings are like weeds;
if you don’t fully extract their roots, they will keep coming back. So
take control of your attitude. Look at what’s right. Believe in
yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoidnegative people, places, things, and habits. Don’t give up,
and don’t give in to consuming the garbage these negative sources are trying to
feed you.
Sure, there will always be
problems and challenges, but there are always people willing to transform those
problems and challenges into great opportunities. Those who have the
courage, commitment and discipline to do so, create a better life for
everyone. Be one of these people. Focus on positive solutions and
work your way eagerly toward a brighter future.
7. Spend lots of quality time
with the people you love.
Spending quality time smiling
with family and friends, enjoying the antics of a pet, seeing your child or
niece or nephew smile, experiencing intimate and heart-felt moments with your
significant other – these times are priceless.
So don’t get so caught up in the
rat race, to the point where you are too stressed and exhausted to enjoy your
closest relationships. As we get older, fun with friends and family is
often underrated. With all of our responsibilities, spending time
“playing” with the people closest to us seems like an indulgence. It
shouldn’t be. It should be a requirement.
Remember, we don’t live
forever. You must make an effort to appreciate what you have, who loves
you and who cares for you, because you’ll never know how much they mean to you
until the day they are no longer beside you. Spend lots of quality time
with the people you love. Someday you will either regret not doing so, or
you will say, “I’m glad I did.”
8. Appreciate the life you
have now.
Pause for a moment. Breathe
in slowly and deeply. Exhale. Feel the miracle of your
breath. And say, “Thank you.” Be as grateful as possible, for small
things, not just for big things – for the simple act of breathing, the time
together, the conversations, etc.
You probably woke up with a few
aches and pains this morning, but you woke up. You’ve seen better days,
but you’ve also seen worse. You might not have everything you want right
now, but you have everything you need to move forward.
Every moment counts. Every
second matters. Whatever is given is a gift. Right now life isn’t
perfect, but it sure is good. Acknowledging this is the foundation for
all the happiness and abundance you seek. (Read Buddha’s Brain.)
9. Let go of what’s behind
you as you move ahead.
Sometimes things won’t work out like
you plan. Life has other things in mind. You need to let these
things go. Learn what you can and move along. You can’t have a
great day today if you’re still thinking and worrying about yesterday.
Whatever could have been or should have been, doesn’t matter. This moment
is here and now for you to live.
It’s okay to not have all the
answers yet. In fact, you’ll never have ALL the answers. Sometimes beingstrong and moving on are the only choices you have. There are
some things in life that you may never completely get over. The best you
may be able to do is get through them slowly, and that’s perfectly okay.
Just continue the journey, focus
on the present, do your best, and trust the process. The struggle forward
is worth the effort. There’s still a lot of beauty left to be seen on the
road ahead.
Afterthoughts
Your future depends on what you
do right now.
Challenge yourself to be who you
know you are capable of being. Challenge yourself to follow through – to
live what you preach, to walk your talk. Don’t worry about how slowly you
feel you’re heading towards your goals, or how many roadblocks you find, or how
many detours you’re forced to take. As long as you keep doing your thing,
you’re still cruising far ahead of everyone who’s too scared to even try.
Your turn…
What would you add to the list?
What’s something you wish you had
done sooner?
Please leave a comment below and
share your insights with the community.
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